March 18, 2009

It´s really hard here in the big city everyone lives in apartments. But the wards are good and the members are cool. We had my second baptism on Sunday a man named Jackson we've been teaching. I couldn´t stop smiling the whole time at the baptismal service. It was great we sang a primary hymn in Portuigues and english. it was cool. it´s really crazy on the mission. We are literally battling satan, he is in our way, he is in the hearts of some people he is waiting to laugh at us when we fall. He is annoying! I am happy to hear you guys are receiving blessings. here on the mission we teach families who have a huge list of problems... And they make my problems seem like nothing. I am trying really hard to be a stronger me, it´s a constant search and study. Its true I just want to have fun, I just want my life back, with so many rules on the mission I often feel like a robot. I need to learn to have fun with portugues, being the only one learning the language it´s boring not having others around to play with the language. I am trying to learn to how to have fun on the mission without breaking the rules.

March 11, 2009

This past week was cool. Jinilson and Liliane are getting married so they can be baptized!! I went to the temple today and did a session of endowments. I have never felt so exhausted in my life and some how I keep walking, I know Christ is carrying me. I am so weak and so imperfect and yet the love is so enormous. I am trying and keep on trying and yet I can never grasp it near accomplish my goals. It´s so hard and frustrating at times. I really felt the weight of my calling as a missionary today in the temple, the responsibility is huge and impossible without the Spirit. Mom I taught the first vision and invited a young single lady to be baptized this week, Renata. As Sister Souza and Sister Rocha were teaching their parts I was praying and repenting and begging for the Spirit. As I quoted Jospeh Smith --I saw a pillar of light directly above my head, brighter than the sun that gradually descended before me...--vi um pilar de luz acima de minha cabeça. mais brilhante que o sol que decsia gradualmente sobre mim...the Spirit was so strong, I can feel it now as I am recounting the experience. As I testified of it´s truthfulness and asked her to be baptized she accepted without hesitation. Mom it was a miracle. A true conversion through a true testimony. WOW, wish you could of been there. My I have a strong spirit and testimony, I have lived my who life doubting and not confident, wasted time. oh well. Having two brasilians around is rough but I am trying to look at the bright side, I can learn two times as fast how to speak portugues.. haha.

March 4, 2009

The Portugues is taking over my brain!! It´s happening with a little, faith, a ton of confidence, and hope that anything is possible. I have had a change of heart this transfer, I am feeling more and more at peace at the work I am trying to accomplish here. My goal is to love more, I need more love for everything. if I just let go and love it makes all the problems go away. Every day is a constant day fighting for what is right. I wish Satan never exsisted at all, he makes everything so much harder. My testimony was on the brink of ruin last week as trial after trial overwhelmed me with frustration and discouragement. This transfer everything is the same but we have an additional Companion, Sister Rocha (another Brasilian compaion, she talks really fast and it´s hard to get a word in but I love her) and another area to care for. A mission is so hard I want to wear pants, I want to listen to my music, I want cinder, I want, I want... all these sacrifices are good for me, starving, sweating, speaking portugues, some days are just too overwhelming. it´s like I can handle it for so long and then I expolde and want to give up. I am learning persistence, diligence, patience and the people, loving the people and forgetting about all my wants helps. Missionaries are angels. I am an angel gathering the saints.

February 25, 2009

A mission is so hard... I am discovering all my weaknesses and all my rebelliousness. It´s not too fun, I am trying to change and serve the people here the best I can but sometimes feel unqualified for the job. Another transfer is coming up on the 3rd of March I might be moving again and this time maybe companions too... I won't know until the night before. so blah... I am keeping positive with the little impovements everyday and am finally seeing some movement and change. I am in shock to discover the person I am helping most is myself here on the mission I thought it would be the other way around. Well we´re teaching 2 really cool guys hoping they´ll be baptized this Sunday, we´ll just have to wait to find out. Well this is my frustrated email for this week looking foward to a better one next week. loveRachel

February 18, 2009

I am so happy to serve a mission in Brasil where the culture here embraces life and it´s problems and it´s normal. It´s normal to have problems, to be working on our problems, to believe in God and confide in Him for everything. I love Brasil and how they are so loving and welcoming and accepting. I dont´feel awkward or embarrassed about who I am, what I believe, etc... I was definitely meant to serve a mission here and I am learning so much about myself and the world we live in and about people.. So many different types of people. It´s really wierd to speak english I can write in english and think in english but I always respond in Portugues or a mix form when I speak to those who speak english and portugues, mostly american elders.Yeah the living arrangement is fun, when will I ever been living like this again?? or maybe it´s preparing me for what is to come in my life?? poverty!! haha I love the people here. they make everything good. Smoking is a huge prblem here for most people, it´s such a work of satan, I have never been around so much cigarette smoke in my life and am paranoid of dying from second hand smoke!! haha. It´s really sad. we are visiting an older lady who has heart problems from drinking coffee, cancer from smoking all her life and a type of blood disease. to think this pain and suffereing if she just never smoked or drank coffee in her life. I am learning so much about commandments and how everything has a purpose, sometimes when a new rule is made of commandment is given we don´t understand the purpose but there always is. A purpose of protection, health, recieve blessings. I have a new take on sacrifices. instead of complaining and not wanting to do things I don´t want to do I am looking for things that I don´t want to do and doing them, to sacrifice and recive the blessings from sacrifcing. Life is all about sacrificing and I am learning to put people first, putting others first in an important concept. well It´s a wonderful plan here on earth. And what is most wonderful of all is that we have the knowlegde of this plan. How merciful is our god to bless us with a prophet, scriptures, a working mind to learn His will and return back to live with God. He is literally our father. My relationship with god has grown tremendously. Till next time! Love, Rachel